Contextualized Value

"You never knew love, until you crossed the line of grace." -Bono

I was reading a book today where I came across this quote from the one and only Bono.  Bono, as one could guess from the lyrics of his songs, has been profoundly impacted by the scandal of God's love for us.  Here we see him boldly challenging those who may have come to love too easily.  If you haven't scandalized the love of God, if you haven't pushed and pulled against the grace of God, if you haven't rolled around in the mud a little bit, you have only known the love of God in part.  Yet while we were still sinners, we have been caught up in an overwhelming, transforming, love.  I'm guessing that for many in the church, whether they know it or admit it, they feel that they in some way have earned at least some small part of God's love.  We think in our minds about how we helped that man change a tire and we felt so blessed.  We think about how we go to church once or maybe even three times a week.  We search for assurance of God's love in the way that we pray and read scripture, the way that we teach our children a right understanding of the love of God.  Yet we haven't truly known love until we push against its bounds.

When we reflect on the struggles of living in loving relationship with family, community and the world, we see the challenges that even a chosen relationship can present.  We have bad days, sleepless nights, children pulling on our pant leg, another day running late, pain from the way that we slept, or a full moon.  Many people are walking through this world hurting in many different ways.  We all are probably familiar with the phrase "hurt people, hurt people".  Whether we like it or not, that is one of the truest statements.  When we are in pain, be it physical, emotional, spiritual, or mental, we have a tendency to have a shortened fuse.  We have ears that hear a simple suggestion as a challenge to our integrity.  If we know one another well enough, we may know the response that will cut our friend the deepest.  Depending on our level of pain we may let it fly.  On the other side, loving people who get us, who love like we do, when we are at our best, is hardly any challenge at all.

I love the verses in scripture where Jesus is calling his believers to a higher level of love.  He challenges his audience,

  "If you love those who love you, what reward is there for that?  Even corrupt tax collectors do that much.  If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else?  Even pagans do that."

Jesus is asking us to turn this idea of loving only the "lovable" on its head.  He tells us, that hurt people shouldn't hurt people.  Hurt people should love people because they, perhaps more than anyone else, know the pain that can come from feeling unloved.  Jesus is telling us that, if we love only because we have something to gain, maybe a promise that the love we have given will be returned to us, we have not really loved at all.  

It may seem to be a given that Christians would love wherever they are and whomever they are in front of.  Sadly, we know this has not been the case for much of the church's history so maybe it is time we reexamine the question.  When, whom and how do we love?  We love those who love us, we love those who do not love us, we love our friends and church members, we love our enemies, we love when we are loved, we love when we feel unloved, we love when we are experiencing pain and we love when we have experienced the supernatural power of healing.  

The Value of Love 

I think the reason that Bono makes the distinction between the type of love that is experienced on either side of grace is because there is something more valuable about a scandalous love.  I think the reason that Jesus makes the distinction between the love of a friend and the love of an enemy is because, again, there is something more scandalous about that kind of love.  I'd say, that is the love that this world is begging for.  While we are still trying to figure out how to stop being an ass to the person we share a pew with, Jesus is calling us to love the ISIS member.  While we are contemplating whether or not we should forgive our sister or brother for the way that they spoke with us last week, Jesus is calling us to show grace to the man who stole our car. 

Value is contextual.  Water to someone who lives on the bank of a river, may be take for granted, while to someone who lives in the Sahara it may be more precious than gold.  Heat for someone who lives in Alaska, may be a welcome feeling while at the same time, to someone living in Ethiopia it may be the thing someone is crying for relief from.  Love, to a person who has been told that the back stabbing, judgmental, conditional love they experienced through growing up in a church, has no value at all.  Love, to a person who grows up in a society that says they love the movies, love that outfit, love the way that their steak was cooked, love the Ninja Turtles, and love it when they have produce on sale, has experienced a love of diminished value. 

Love demands the fullness of its value.  Well, as much love can demand anything.  I think this is why many churches feel like they are experiencing something lesser than the love of God.  They are just rehearsing the motions of love in a very small context.  There is no challenge to the bound of grace, to the bound of love.  To accept the challenge to love a people who are out of our immediate comfort, our immediate context, is to open oneself to the risk of disappointment, disagreement, rejection and even harm.  But, if that love is returned to us it will unlock a part of our very souls that we didn't know existed.  Saying that we love the latest outfit we purchased doesn't come out the same way.  The world grows larger and more brilliant than we had imagined.  The words of Jesus no longer exists as just a hopeful dream but they take form in a tangible way.  Our heart grows three sizes that day.  The words take on flesh and dwell among us.  

I challenge you, and myself, to stop offering a love that is conditional, manipulative and can easily be returned.  Let love roll around in the mud a bit, let its risk spit on you and reject you.  Let it fight back and come back void.  At the same time, never stop offering a love, who's value is transformational.  Be a stream in dry lands, offer hope to the hopeless, food to the hungry, clothes to the naked, forgiveness to those who have harmed you, and love to those who have yet to experience the scandalous love of Christ.  It will mean leaving this land you have called home, with all of its comforts and charm.  The value of this kind of love you have first been given must travel, in spirit and in flesh.  Travel well.