Weird Flex but OK

I encourage you then, to make experience, not knowledge, your aim.  Knowledge often leads to arrogance, but this humble feeling never lies to you. –Anonymous

I try to frequent the same 2 or 3 establishments when I am studying and reading.  That way I run into the same characters, have the opportunity to learn about the people I share space with.  I slowly have learned about peoples struggles, their victories, their families and ultimately what has led our paths to crossing.  3.5 years into a “new space” and I am beginning to make relationships that I would even consider friendships in some cases.  Those encounters are fun to me.  I may spend and extra 15 minutes in my time at the gym, talking about the vacation I just got back from or my new friend’s trip up north over the weekend.  It really is a joy to learn about the people you cross paths with in a day, even as a semi-introvert. 

Sadly, not all encounters with the same cast of characters is super enjoyable.  Some people have a way of entering a space and choking all joy out of it.  Once or twice a week I frequent a certain coffee shop.  I won’t say which one but there is a big B involved.  I will be sitting there reading or writing and inevitably, an obnoxiously gregarious man loudly enters the once calm space.  “I’m waiting for someone who’s going to meet me here.”, the man loudly declares to an uninterested crowd.  He then wanders around the space looking for anyone who might lock eyes with him so that he can engage in conversation that consists mostly of him shouting at them in a way that seriously makes me wonder if he has a hearing problem.  I know the way of his conversation from personal experience.  My nephew and I were sitting in said coffee shop one day, discussing church, the blog and my failed attempts at starting to podcast.  The man walked over, uninvited, and asked what we were up to.  When we answered I could see the excitement in his eyes.  He wasn’t so much interested in our writing, podcasting or church as he was in determining if our brand of faith checked all of the right boxes.  He grilled us on our stance on the Spirit, baptism, worship, etc.   This uninvited dude just came and blew up our space.  He wasn’t coming to learn, he was coming to teach us a lesson and I can’t stress enough what a negative feeling I got from it.  What is sad to me is not so much what he did to me, I am fairly mature in my own thoughts and feelings, at least to the point that I’m not going to let this guy shake my faith.  What bothers me is that he more than likely has done this to people in a much more vulnerable space. 

I unfortunately came across a Youtube rabbit trail called The Confident Man Project.  I resisted clicking any of the videos but one was titled, Walk Like You Own the Place.  I didn’t need to see the video because I know the message.  You portray a level of confidence, real or imagined, to keep others on their heels.  I’m sure most of us can imagine the Shooter McGavin type that carries an air of confidence that maybe in a time lost may have come across as appealing.  I can say without a doubt that it most certainly does not anymore.  Though this behavior is thankfully becoming extinct in many places, it still rears its ugly head in places of higher learning, board rooms, coffee shops and sadly, in our churches. 

Since we have been doing house church for a few years I have found it so difficult to go to a traditional church.  The familiarity that the members, especially the male members, have with the setup, the liturgy, the beliefs of that particular gathering, has them walking around like they own the place.  It is a massive turn off to me and I grew up with it.  I know the behavior and the type.  They display the confidence, ask questions and move to the next one before waiting for the answer.  They throw in little “good spirited” jabs to knock the person down a bit.  You see them during service, leaning back with their arm around their submissive wives covered shoulders, with a smug look on their faces.  They nod in agreement with what the pastor says as if to signify to those around them that they already knew that little religious nugget. 

I don’t mean to be overly critical of this species of church goer.  In reality they are a product of the system.  If a knowledge of Jesus is the goal, then you will do whatever you can to race to more of it.  When you are unsure of something then you hide it.  You hide it by pretending that your doubts don’t exist and this is done through bombastic, over compensated confidence.  Perhaps it is so ugly to me because that has been me.  I was so scared of my uncertainty being exposed that I faked an unreasonable level of confidence. 

So, what is the solution?  I think the quote from the top gets us off to a good start.  The church as a place of growing knowledge really gets us nowhere.  Great knowledge is not only indefinite when it comes to the mystery of Christ, it isn’t really helpful.  When knowledge is the goal it only takes one well placed blow to topple our fragile faith.  Science, when taken seriously is pretty good at that.  Nothing can take away the experience of Christ in us and surrounding us.  I have found in my times at conferences and in church meetings that to be counted among those “in the know” brings a dangerous level of empowerment.  You find yourself walking around, sipping coffee and acting like you own the place.  An experience of Christ, on the other hand, tends to kick your ass.  I can only speak as one who has had their metaphorical ass kicked several times but I have to say those moments changed who I was.  I think a congregation of people who are living and practicing a faith that comes from that kind of experience are not only more attractive but I have found them to be so much more hospitable.  If knowledge is the goal, then we can systematically determine who shares the same knowledge as us and exclude those who don’t line up.  I have found that humility is the great equalizer.  It invites diverse people to share in the same welcoming spaces and that sounds more like the church that Jesus may have envisioned.

Experience has a way of bringing us to testimonial confession (see, like, the entire book of Acts). We can include, even when our knowledge may say otherwise, because we have experienced a move of the Spirit in the people that many in the church insist be excluded. We can stop the theological gymnastics once necessary to make sense of our faith and our practice and we can declare to “know this one thing, Christ and Him crucified” . We can do this because we have experienced death and resurrection every day. We see death and resurrection in our hearts, our minds, our communities, our ability to reason and in all of creation. I believe this humble faith that honors experience will foster a type of performance of our faith that values more than just the mind.  The cool thing is that everyone has experiences, not just the dudes in leadership. So maybe the guys, including me, in most of our churches who have been the ONLY voice and arbiters of theological matters can back off a bit. Seriously, just stop talking. Don’t be so quick to correct, coerce and condemn. Listen to and highlight the voices of those on the margins of your community. What they have to say about their experience of God may actually change your mind. But, even if it doesn’t, it will at least make our local coffee shops and churches much less disquieting for a bit.  Well, we can hope.