A Famine of Hearing

Amos: 8:10 I will turn your feasts into mourning, and all your songs into lamentation; I will bring sackcloth on all loins, and baldness on every head; I will make it like the mourning for an only son, and the end of it like a bitter day.

8:11 The time is surely coming, says the Lord GOD, when I will send a famine on the land; not a famine of bread, or a thirst for water, but of hearing the words of the LORD.

8:12 They shall wander from sea to sea, and from north to east; they shall run to and fro, seeking the word of the LORD, but they shall not find it.

The prophets can be tough to read.  I think we either struggle seeing ourselves in the text or maybe we see ourselves too clearly and we aren't sure how to move from despair to hope.  I think the worst of those two possibilities is the former.  If you go back a bit in that reading from Amos, you see a people who had forgotten the call of God to justice, kindness and mercy.  The charge against them was as follows.

8:4 Hear this, you that trample on the needy, and bring to ruin the poor of the land,

8:5 saying, "When will the new moon be over so that we may sell grain; and the sabbath, so that we may offer wheat for sale? We will make the ephah small and the shekel great, and practice deceit with false balances,

8:6 buying the poor for silver and the needy for a pair of sandals, and selling the sweepings of the wheat."

The poor were getting poorer, they couldn't wait to end their religious celebrations so that they could continue making money, the goods brought to market carried less value, people were being bought and sold and even the leftovers were being gathered before the poor could claim them.  It's hard to hear the warning of the prophet and miss how it speaks directly to the empire of the West.  Here we see the gap of the poor and the wealthy widening more and more every day.  People die on the streets of hunger and disease that results from extreme poverty.  The mall on a Sunday afternoon is packed along with every restaurant in the city with finely dressed church-goers.  The goods that hard working small time manufacturers have spent generations creating and building, see their prices being driven down by giant stores like Wal-Mart and Home Depot.  People are locked into modern day slavery, working 3 and 4 jobs each, leaving their children to fend for themselves.  In the meantime, farmers, manufacturers, grocery stores and you and I, waste $165 Billion in food each year.  $165 Billion, yes you read that correctly.

This may seem harsh to some and maybe an unfair representation of the "West" but for many, they live this sad reality every day.  To be fair things have gotten out of control.  It isn't like we all woke up one day and this was just the reality of things.  It has been a slow process.  Manufacturers and distributers who are protecting a bottom line have cut corners, we have begun spending ridiculous amounts of time and money acquiring the latest and greatest goods, frivolous law-suits against farmers and grocery chains have caused them to be careful about where even the excess food goes.  We have stopped paying attention to, or God forbid, we have stopped caring about the fact that children never see their parents because they are constantly working to provide for their family.  If we took the time to talk to people who live a life that is damaged by this truth, how could we continue to do nothing about it?

Hearing-Loss

The end of this section of scripture, specifically in Amos 8:11, speaks directly to the end result of such careless living.  The result is not that God was going to take this wealth from them or that they themselves would go without food or drink.  The result is that they would stop hearing from God.  Not that he would stop speaking. The wealthy and the privileged would just stop hearing it.  I am sure that those who were enduring the hardship brought upon them by the greed of many of God's people still felt the comfort of the voice of God.    The privileged had just gone so far that they refused to hear.  So now the word of the Lord that would warn them and cause them to feel something deep within their soul, would now sound like wise decision making.  Ruthless business practices would go unchecked and all for the sake of the mighty Shekel.

When a person no longer hears from God for those convicting warnings that bring them to repentance, they are left to their own devices to determine right from wrong.  The problem is that no person knows what it feels like to be wrong so we assume that we are right.  Being wrong feels exactly the same as being right.  Randy Harris, the great Christian teacher and thinker, says that when you realize that you were wrong you are no longer wrong, you are right.  Now, you can reflect on the way that you were wrong but all of your insight comes from the feeling that you now are experiencing, the feeling of being right.  In the same way, when you are aware that what you are taking part in is harming a group of people, you are no longer unaware.  The conviction that you have received is from God and you can either decide to shut out that voice or to do some small part to bring about change.

Have you been experiencing famine?

I get that this may be a challenge.  I would be lying if I said that it wasn't one for me.  The first thing that this reality of the economic and political systems of the West implies is that I have been at least complicit in the way that it functions.  I shop at the stores that use child labor, I shop the best price with little attention to where I find it and how they were able to sell at such a low price.  There have been times that I have had an opportunity to speak for those who have no voice and decided to say nothing.  We are a country of people who have made it a national past time to turn the other way when faced with our own ugly truth.  What we find is that the small voice that we hear that pulls at our heart when we see a person living on the street, or the pain of a young black man who is unsure if this traffic stop will be his last, that voice gets more and more silent.  When the next news story comes up we turn the channel, when a young man shares why he takes part in the Black Lives Matter movement shows up in our newsfeed, we role our eyes and keep scrolling.

But to do so means to ignore that feeling in your gut that feels like motion sickness.  A tension so great that we feel like we don't know which ways is up any more.  we can no longer compartmentalize everything into right and wrong, in and out.  I can say that if you continue down that path of ignoring the voice and conviction of God, that dissenting voice does go away.  You'll stop second guessing yourself and you will settle on your own truth and reality that you are indeed right and the voice of the other is wrong.  Unfortunately the price to pay for such silence is famine from hearing the voice of God.  While this may feel like temporary freedom from care it ultimately becomes a deafening silence and fear.  You find yourself praying for that same conviction that once haunted you so.  If you search long enough, you will find people that will agree with you, pat you on the back, "like" your post on Facebook and validate all of your personal and political ideals.  What you may find, if you are honest, is that it's a crappy substitute for the voice and approval of God.

Heed the words of the prophet.

Truth in Parable

The best things can't be told.  The second best are misunderstood.  -Heinrich Zimmer

This week at house church, my wife Niki led the Sunday School for the kids. They have been looking at the parables of Jesus for the last few weeks and this week she read the parables about the kingdom of God.  "The kingdom is like".  She then gave the kids a pile of legos, each, and asked them to keep the stories in mind as they built their vision of the kingdom.  While at that age their interpretation of the kingdom is probably more of a literal understanding of the parables. What I realized as I looked at their creations was that what their creations represented, was a real picture of the kingdom.  Not the only picture but a picture.  The kingdom is like a treasure buried in a field, like a seed planted that sprouts and provides a home for the birds of the air, like, like, like.  Those images took shape through primary colors of blocks, wheels and Lego men.  This is the beauty and power of the parables of Jesus.  They are so simple that they can be understood by a four year old and so complex that they can still puzzle the most mature believer.

Heinrich Zimmer said "the best things can't be told".  I think Jesus knew this.  He knew what we would do with a literal telling of the kingdom of God.  It is like all of the things that we say we understand and the things we say are known.  We place boundaries around it and mark what this thing is and what it is not.  We then do the work of deciding who it is who knows, who is enlightened, who is in and who is out.  So Jesus told parables.  This proclamation of the Kingdom of God was the focus of his teachings and he told it in such a way that we couldn't fully grasp it or claim it because he knew the best things couldn't be told.  The best things can't be told in the traditional ways that we come by most of our information. It would only be misunderstood.  No, this "best thing", was so great that he didn't want us to miss it. So he hid it in the only place it could be preserved: A parable

"The second best are misunderstood"

When you take the gospel message and you plant it in a new place, the possibilities are endless.  A word that has such a specific meaning in our context has a wide range of possible meaning in a new place.  This is only true if we let it be.  In the above quote from Zimmer, he is speaking of the difference between connotation and denotation.  Denotation says that there is a precise, literal and singular definition of a word, and even a simile or metaphor.  The problem is that when you take a message of good news and also take a foreign denotation with you and plant it in a new place, that message loses its significance.  Unfortunately, you may even lose the fact that the message is even good news at all when you share the message in a new context.  It is misunderstood and stripped of its power.  Connotation, on the other hand, carries with it all of the possible meanings and interpretations.  It is less concerned with a particular denotation because language rarely works in that way.

This is scary business if you aren't used to experiencing other cultures.  It's scary because even well meaning messages can be misread and received as hurtful.  It's also scary because it is possible that the message you meant to bring to another context or culture will be totally misunderstood.  It is out of your hands.  I say that is the best place for the gospel message to be.  The controlled and kept version that speaks in "yes" and "no", "in and out", often ends up being anything but good news.  If we believe in the Spirit of God as a gift that works both within us and out in this world, then you can not control the gospel of Jesus Christ.  It will go where it will, it will accomplish what it desires and you can't do anything about it.  I think you will find that it is often good news to people you wish it wasn't and grace to those you thought were beyond its reach.  The good news about that is that is how it was able to be sufficient for you.  The good news is for the sake of the world, let's make sure we aren't keeping it for ourselves.

Colossians 1:5...the gospel 6 that has come to you. Just as it is bearing fruit and growing in the whole world, so it has been bearing fruit among yourselves from the day you heard it and truly comprehended the grace of God. 

The gospel only bears fruit in new and exciting places and ways if we would only let it be what it truly is: The grace of God at work in us and in this world.

Theory Sans Practice

I love my son, Everett.  I can tell that my wife Niki and I avoided failure in at least one aspect of his life and that is in instilling confidence.  Everett will watch the amazing things happening on So You Think You Can Dance or Americas Got Talent and announce "I think I could do that".  We just finished his first year of YMCA soccer and he lets me know he wants to be a professional soccer player.  We talk about the gifts that he has been given and ways that he could use those gifts for the benefit of the world and Everett is pretty sure he's going to be an inventor that will help poor and sick people.  When you press a little further with Everett and try to figure out how all of these things will come into being in his life, he loses a bit of that confidence.  For Everett, dreaming is not the problem.  He probably gets a bit of that dreaming idealist personality from me.  He wants to change the world and show the world what all he could do but the work of getting there is another story. I think Everett, though his story is a little less complex and more innocent, is much like the story we all share.  How do we move from desire to fulfillment?  How do we move from an imagination to realization?  How do we move from a mere incantation to a divine manifestation?  Or, how do we avoid the trap that the title of this post states, a theory without practice?

I think if you asked most churches, or even most "spiritual people" in this country, what really matters and they would have similar answers.  We should love each other, no child should go hungry, all lives really do matter, we should care for the earth, violence is not a good thing, we should offer hospitality to strangers, there is something bigger at work in this world, and the list goes on.  Yet, we don't really live as if many of those things are any sort of prority.

We should love each other?

I would say that this theory is shared by more people in this country and the world than any other belief.  This belief that is tied to the greatest commandment and in many other ancient religious texts has become little more than a theory.  It doesn't take long on the nation's roadways, on Facebook, in a check out line or even within our own denominations and sects, to see that the theory of loving one another has stalled out before it has reached true praxis.  How do we love in practice and not only in theory?  Well in Christian scriptures it means

1 Corinthians 13:  4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

But we are not patient with each other or kind. Social media shows the worst side of our boastful arrogant rudeness.  We often, in an irritable and resentful way, insist that we are correct.  We love seeing the mighty fall with little regard for truth.  It most certainly does not look like patient endurance while bearing all things.  Our practice of love is broken if it exists at all.  If we are greeting only those who think like us, look like us and talk like us, how could we say that we love like God?

All Lives Matter

I love the Black Lives Matter movement.  There a group of African American men and women (and those committed to stand with them) who are standing up, in the face of violence, abuse and years of slavery and death, are proclaiming to themselves and the world, that their lives matter too.  It takes great courage to shout loud enough for the powers that be to hear you.  If those in power are exposed they usually don't respond in kindness.

The response from many people, mostly the dominant majority, has been to proclaim that "all lives matter".  Let's first say that indeed both of those things are correct.  Black lives do matter and all lives do matter.  the problem is that historically, one of those truths has had a hard time speaking that message without violence being perpetrated against them.  It's hard to hold a rally when in the not so distant past your rallies ended with those begging their voice would be heard being beaten or murdered.

To those saying all lives matter, is that actually true, in the sense that you actually live as if it is.  If you ask the people who want to make the distinction that all lives matter, not just black lives what they think about refugees and they will tell you it is to risky to bring them into our nation.  They say that some of them may be a terrorist so even though young children, mothers and innocent fathers must die in their escape from violence because it isn't worth the risk.  If that is what the same person who says "all lives matter" is saying about the refugee crisis then they would have to amend the initial statement to say "all lives but the refugees".

Drive through any major city in the US and you will find both in the city centers and the outskirts of the town, thousands of homeless men and women, in each city.  The number of hoops that these men and women must jump through just to gain food assistance or temporary housing is beyond sad.  So again the statement "all lives matter" must be amended to "all lives except the refugees and the people who don't work hard enough for me and the people who are addicts or those who find themselves on the streets because of mental illness or just a tough life experience".  You see the "all lives matter" thing gets old pretty quick when it is evident that for many people that proclaim that message, the life that matters to them is their own.

Faithful Endurance

"Love endures all things".  Would a person looking in on those who are confessing Christians, and say that they are a people who endure?  Endurance means to suffer something painful or difficult, patiently.  I think all of the examples of love made manifest through faithful endurance in this country could all be found among those who actually have suffered great pain and loss.  As the African American population was experiencing slavery, segregation, lynching, hangings and beatings, the Black Church sang even more loudly that "we shall overcome"!  The LGBT community, though they were sent to the fringes of society, called horrible names, beaten and killed, are courageous enough to have a Pride Parade in many different cities around this country while they patiently endure.  The migrant workers in this country are taken advantage of by farmers who somehow (legally?) keep them in shacks, transporting them in the backs of pick-up trucks to make unjust wages working back breaking hours.  Yet these communities endure, their beautiful culture remains in the dance, food and hospitality to strangers.  This is faithful endurance.

The list goes on and on of people who have experienced the most suffering in this nation who have kept the most vibrant and lively communities.  They are faithfully enduring as a sign of love to each other and to this nation that they are committed to see grow in justice and love.  Maybe faithful endurance for the privileged in this country will have to start with hearing the stories of the oppressed.

An Obsession With Violence

Most people who are believers in God, Allah, YHWH would hold peace as an essential teaching.  For some reason, much of our time is spent then justifying he violence that does exist among us or is engaged in and even perpetrated by those confessing believers.  We even call violence "entertainment". Can you imagine a person living in a world where they don't need to turn on the television to see Game of Thrones level violence, they can just look out their door.

We value the 2nd amendment more than we do those whose lives have tragically been cut short due to senseless gun violence. Preemptive violence is supported and championed by people who confess a God of peace.  It is confusing to those who do not believe, and we are finding that it is confusing to our younger generations who can no longer hold the tension between the God they are taught to believe and the God that would justify such violence.  The response of the unbeliever is to run as far as possible from the believers because they seem to be crazy hypocrites.  The response of the youth is to join with the smaller communities of people committed to the practice of non-violence and the issues of social justice.  Many  of the churches and religious institutions have lost their voice when it comes to a proclamation of peace.  It isn't too late but we better repent before it is.

What Now?

I really don't want this to be too negative of a post, though I fear many will see it that way. Remember how we started the post though, telling the story of my son Everett.  When Everett says he wants to be a professional soccer player, I don't just tell him that he isn't good enough.  I tell him to get out in the yard and kick the ball.  When he says he wants to be an inventor I encourage his desire and help him find the types of books that may help him learn what it would take to invent.  When he says he thinks he could be on So You Think You Can Dance, I let him dance wildly through the house.

Church, we must put our theories to practice.  A theory "sans"practice is nothing but empty words.  We must understand that if we want to be obedient to God's first command that we must love the world in a way that is self sacrificial.  We must give a louder voice to those who have been silenced, welcome the stranger and faithfully endure with those who are truly suffering.  If we are at the point in this world that we think that the best response to violence is more violence, I suggest we open our ears to the people who live in a violent inner-city, those who have survived the mass shooting tragedies, and those who have survived years of bombing overseas.  They truly can tell stories about what that violence does.  If peace doesn't look like the peace of God, it is a bogus replica that won't transform anyone or anything.  Finally, go do work.  Practice, practice and practice.  Be willing to fail, be willing to say the wrong thing, be willing to occasionally misunderstand and offend. And if you are the one on the receiving end of each of us who is practicing, show grace when we fail, say the wrong thing and offend.  We are trying to live together in a world that seems to be shrinking.  We are sharing space with people that 100 years ago we never would have imagined.  The result can be something beautiful if we are willing to put in the practice and faithfully endure.  I'll end with one of my favorite verses that, in this post, seems to say it all.

Micah 6:8 NRSV

8 He has told you, O mortal, what is good;     and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness,     and to walk humbly with your God?

Living Together

"To the prophet, knowledge of God was fellowship with him, not obtained by syllogism, analysis or induction but by living together."  -Abraham Joshua Heschel  

I sit in a coffee shop this morning with some idea of what I want to say but no clear path of how to start.  We start a new week after the tragedy of this weekend in Orlando, Florida, changed a little bit, on edge a bit more, questioning existence and the fragility of life yet again.  Thankfully, the person I am sharing this table with this morning, shares a story with me that puts the final pieces together.  You see, a friend of his came out this weekend.  His friend had been living a secret life, with a fear that in some ways was realized with the events of this weekend and yet with a resolve to not live in that fear anymore.  And his friends, for the most part I am sure, loved him for it.  They saw the bravery that it must have taken to share the things he had been feeling for years.  There was liberty in letting all of his friends and even his acquaintances know this part of him as well.  For the person sharing a table with me this morning at the coffee shop, he was able to see his friend in a new light.  He can now see the quiet, withdrawn, maybe even depressed aspects of his friend and it makes sense.  He doesn't love his friend less, he loves him more.

The news reports from this weekend say that the young man responsible for the shooting had seen a gay couple kissing recently and it sent him into a rage.  He saw this couple as so unequivocally "other" than himself that he felt the only possible reaction would be to end the innocent lives of so many others.  I couldn't help but wonder, what if he had had a close friendship like the one I described in the opening paragraph?  A friendship where he didn't know that this friend had been experiencing the fear of the way that society would react.  A friendship where they had shared common fears of school and dating, peer pressure and what it feels like to be an outsider and misunderstood.  If he had known someone like that who then showed the courage that it must take to come out.  If that had happened before he then witnessed a gay couple kiss one another in public, would his reaction have been one of such hatred?

Growing up, I think I was one of the most reactionary people in the history of the world.  If someone asked my opinion on something I had an answer that was clear, concise and loud.  I wish I could say that I thought deeply and considerately on a topic before I blurted out an answer but it isn't so.  I think many of us are quite reactionary, even into later life.  We consider the "knowledge" we have on a topic to be above reproach.  It is true, more than we care to admit, that much of our knowledge comes with little to no proximity.  In the past, if I had an opinion about one of the "mainline denominations" who thought differently from my tribe, it didn't stop me from having a loud opinion.  It certainly didn't drive me to speak with one of the people I was about to make a judgement against.  Knowing someone that we don't understand or that we disagree with doesn't necessarily cause us to change our position but it certainly makes it more complicated.  The clear line that we once saw of in and out, right and wrong, saved and condemned, is now crooked and blurry.  Knowing a person changes things.  I should say, knowing a person should change things.  The only way to truly know a person is through honest proximity.

I love the Heschel quote at the beginning of this piece.  A prophet knows God through fellowship with him.  You can't know God through reading scripture, reading a list of attributes, finding the historical Jesus, proof texting and exegesis, atleast not only those things.  The true way that we know and are known by God is by living with him and that is something that takes time.  It means asking God the really tough questions, it means screaming out to God when this world doesn't make sense.  Living with God means inviting him into the messy sinful stuff that the world "won't understand", and looking up at the night sky glorifying the creator of such ever expanding beauty.  You won't find that in a book.  Jeremiah is my favorite prophet to read because he is young and troubled yet bold and courageous.  You see all of the messy emotions and fears and they are all laying out for everyone to see.  He questions God, he yells at God, he pleads with God and he ultimately trusts in God.  In all of this work he truly comes to know and live with God, as much as is humanly possible.  I think this desire of God, to have us live together with Him, is laid out in the first and greatest commandment.  Love the Lord your God.  This can only come from proximity, we must live together with God in fellowship.  And scripture tells us that the second is like the first, we must love our neighbor as ourselves.  I believe that this too, can only come through proximity.  You can not love what you make no effort to know.  In fact, we have this horrible tendency to judge, condemn, cast out and as we saw this weekend, exterminate, what we don't know.

Is there a people group that you are having a hard time seeing with the love of Christ?  I beg you, this week make an effort to meet someone from that people group.  I'm not even asking you to immediately change your opinion of them.  I'm just asking you to put a face to this general emotion that you are experiencing.  So that when you say, "those ______" you will now see the face of the person you are about to judge.  You will no longer hear statistics and see the effects of 9/11.  You won't hear the voice of Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton but the voice of Jesus calling you to the stranger. What I pray that you might find is that it is much easier to love the particularity of a person than a group of people you have lumped together.  What I think you might find is that when you go to a group of people that you see as wholly "other" than yourself, Jesus is there too and that is where the love and healing you have been searching for rests.  Just as our process of coming to live together in fellowship with God doesn't happen overnight, so too our entry into fellowship with the stranger is a journey.  Our commitment to start can happen right now. Lord have mercy.

Headlong Into the Irresistible Orbit

This week has been tough.  Without getting into specifics, I've felt pretty low overall.  I think many of us, if we could freely share without fear of judgement, could say that we have weeks that seem to suck every bit of life from us.  I don't know that we always can point to one specific thing that causes these weeks to be a challenge.  Maybe our prayer life hasn't been what it should be, maybe you are experiencing financial difficulties, maybe your children have made it so that you haven't had a decent night sleep in 8 years.  Whatever it is, it seems that our travels have stalled and a way forward is nowhere in sight.    This is the way of the adventure we call life. I have titled this particular blog after a line from a song written by a favorite band of mine (from my high school days). "Let's take a trip together, headlong into the irresistible orbit".  I think it is often our default that when things get tough, we decide we are going to "go it alone".  The people who have heard me preach know that when I say "we", I really mean "me" and you can decide if it applies to you or not.  So I'll start again, when things get tough, when I have weeks like the one I have had, I have a tendency to shut people out.  Unfortunately, that often includes God.  I feel like I have somehow wandered somewhere and I want to get my bearings before I "reach out" to God again.  I don't mean that I stop reading or praying, I just mean that I think there is something other than my whole self in it.

But here is the realization that I came to this morning that has offered me some peace.  I'm not alone on this adventure.  This may seem obvious to some of you and maybe impossible to others but I have an overwhelming peace from the reality of that truth this morning.  I am not on this adventure alone.  God is with me in the wrestling, in the wrong turns, in the moments that feel empty and dry, and I am being pulled "headlong into an irresistible orbit".  The funny thing about orbits is the amount of energy it takes to remove an object from its pull.  While we often over analyze every decision, conversation and turn, we miss the irresistible pull of the love of God.  I think most of the decisions we make are like a choose your adventure story.  There are some turns that we can make that lead to death or pain, some that may lead to some great reward but most of the turns that we make are part of the big adventure we call life.  That is the beauty of free will.  If you decide to go to one coffee shop over the other, maybe you missed an opportunity to be a blessing to someone who needed to run into a positive person that morning but it doesn't mean that God hasn't already sent someone else their way to encourage them.  This even applies to bigger decisions like where to go to school or where to work.  There are often better decisions but that doesn't mean that any decision other than that is wrong and that you have sent yourself into a tailspin of despair.  What you will find is that there a limitless number of opportunities at the coffee shop you did decide to go to or the school you decide on or the job you take.  There are hurting people everywhere, there are people that can encourage and speak into your life too, there are challenges, bad and good professors, annoying co-workers and one that will become lifelong friends in all of these decisions.  Try to make the best decision but don't drive yourself crazy and stuck in a lifetime of second guessing.

I'm pretty sure that there is a massive number of believers who are anxious wrecks, second guessing every move and decision, regretting missed opportunities and failed witness.  This is not the way of Jesus, there is no life that will come from this type of thinking.  The sun does not rise and set based on your decisions.  In scripture, when followers of God were faced with a pivotal decision about a people or place they were go to, they received visions in a trance, visitations from angels or an audible voice from God.  God doesn't leave these massive decisions to our trying to discern a hunch.  So if you aren't receiving those types of messages from those types of messengers, your act of faith is as simple as throwing yourself "headlong into the irresistible orbit".  And in that orbit you will often feel like you're tumbling helplessly out of control.  Maybe you'll feel like you are about to spin free of the orbit and float hopelessly into space but I say that is where the irresistible aspect of the orbit comes into play.  When we see the way of Jesus, I mean when we really see it, we won't be able to take our eyes off of it.  And even when we feel we have lost sight, His love draws us back again.

I want to close with is encouragement.  There will be times that your path seems like a departure from the irresistible orbit but realize that sometimes what feels like wandering is actually a return.  A path becomes well worn only because it is traveled often, not necessarily because it is the way.  Be willing to break new ground, forge new paths all for the sake of the announcement of the kingdom of God.  Be willing to take wrong turns and experience loose footing.  Please understand that God is always bigger than your missteps and mistakes and what seems like a misstep or mistake may be the uncovering of a path to peace for a forgotten tribe.  It's all magical and mystical, wondrous and weird and I don't want to miss any part of it for anything.  "The way" is an irresistible orbit and it's coming back around.  Maybe it's time to jump on in.

Walkers and Broken Lenses

It's been a difficult couple of years for my extended family.  My cousin in particular has had an extremely difficult time as she has lost her sister, her dad and her daughter in a short amount of time.  It is a difficult thing to see people you love go through suffering as you yourself have experienced the losses just at a different intensity.  The last of those losses for my cousin was the most difficult on the family.  Jamie was my cousin's daughter and like a little sister to me.  I would always go on family vacations with them and spent much of the road trip as a spectator to some of the best fights that have ever occurred.  My second cousins would fight over who read the most, who had hair like an astronaut, who was sitting with their toes pointed at the other and whether or not this was done intentionally.  Hair was pulled, slaps were thrown and even all out wrestling matches took place (the center seat of the van was taken out to provide a perfect wrestling ring).  When Jamie passed, I saw a sadness settle on my cousin that I had never seen before.  We were always the family that would sit by the lake, laughing for hours and hours, taking paddle boat trips to "The Paddle-Boat Island" where Doritos would keep us alive and other nonsense.  We were the loudest and most obnoxious people walking through the mall in Pensacola Florida and there was never a dull moment.  But my cousin lost her daughter and the distance between us seems further in some ways, partly because knowing how much space to give a person going through something like that is impossible.  Not to mention that every time we see or speak to each other we think more of Jamie and how she won't walk into the room holding the most embarrassing photo of you that you thought and hoped had magically disappeared but is now sitting in front of you ready for the whole family to laugh and reminisce about your teenage goofiness. I tell that story because it helps explain a story about my mother's latest silly bout with misinformation.  My cousin had visited a while back and they had a great time laughing, story telling and just reconnecting.  It was good healing for my mom and I hope for my cousin as well.  My Aunt, who was also suffering the loss of her husband and her grand daughter through all of this was there as well and they both spoke with my mom about something having to do with my grandpa Archie.  A few days after that visit, my mom got a text about my grandpa again.  My mom excitedly told me how my cousin had just texted her about grandpa.  I was happy for my mom because I could tell she was happy to hear from her niece again and that they were still talking about grandpa together.  A few texts went back and forth about the crazy names my grandpa used to give himself and how other people in the community were just reminiscing about it as well.  A few weeks went by and my mom was planning for a trip to Mackinac Island with my sisters and my sister Liz was going to need a walker for the time on the island.  She remembered that my cousin had a walker and she thought she would just give her a text to see if they could pick it up.  She got a text back that it would be fine but that they would be out of town for a birthday and they would leave it on the porch if they wanted to swing by and pick it up.  Well, my parents went to pick it up a week or so later and thought they would swing past my Aunt's house to visit as they hadn't seen her new house since she moved.  They were driving down the street, unsure of the house number of my Aunt's home but pretty sure of the part of the street she was on.  They saw a walker sitting out on the front porch of a house and all joked with each other how they could just pick up that walker and run but decided to not get in trouble with the law in Plainwell, at least for this trip.

They continued on their trip to my cousins house and were surprised to see cars in the driveway and no walker on the porch.  My mom started walking around the house to see if maybe it was around the back when my cousin's husband came out to greet them and see what was up.  "I thought you guys were out of town" my mom said with confusion.  He answered that no, they were indeed both at home.  My mom wasn't too troubled with this and continued with her questioning, "we were looking for the walker that you guys were going to leave out for us".  He was unaware of a plan to get a walker for them but said he would go check with my cousin.  When my cousin came out she told my mom that she had no memory of any conversation about a walker.  My mom boldly said "we texted about it".  My cousin even checked her phone to see if any conversation had taken place and of course she found no evidence of it because, wait for it, my mom had been texting her sister all along.  After all of the laughter had started to slow, and considering my family that must have been close to an hour, they discussed all of the things my mom had to ignore in order to come to the conclusion that it was her niece that would provide the walker.

First, the text that my mom had received from her sister that she thought was from her niece, (from a number not programmed on my mom's phone because she has like three numbers programmed and that is all) even referred to grandpa Archie as "our dad".  Now my cousin would not refer to her grandpa as dad but my aunt would.  Secondly, the walker sitting in front of a house on my aunt's street.  Granted they weren't sure which specific house was my aunt's and they couldn't find my aunt's car so they couldn't know which house it was.  The car wasn't in my aunt's driveway because she was OUT OF TOWN FOR HER BIRTHDAY just like the mystery person who had been texting my mom.  Third, when my parents got to my cousins house and saw that they were not out of town and were quite confused as to why my mom would think they WERE out of town.  I don't know when the point was that my mom lost her confidence about the way that she was understanding things but once she did, it all started making sense.  It was like the rewind in the Sixth Sense where we have now been let in on the secret and the way we experience those past scenes has now changed in light of this new information.

To be fair, I think my mom thought it was my cousin and not her sister that had been texting her because she really hoped that's who it was.  It's amazing what our minds can do when we want something to be true.  Once that desire had changed the way that she saw the text, she was able to easily dismiss some of the other signs that may have been pointing to a different reality.  Now she sees my cousin refer to grandpa as dad just as a texting error.  She must have forgotten to say "your dad" instead of just "dad".  Now the walker on the front porch of the a house near where my aunt lives is coincidence.  When they show to pick up the walker and the house isn't empty, they must have just gotten the weeks confused and they traveled the week before.  Our minds have a way of closing, and eliminating information that is trying to change our understanding.  I think this is why it is so difficult for us to come to new understandings.

Obstructed Revelation

It is because of the fact that our minds behave in this way that it is so difficult for the Spirit to reveal anything "new" to us.  I think Jesus is the best example of this in scripture.  The people of God had an understanding of the character of God through their understanding of the law and the prophets and Jesus comes and says "I am the image of the invisible God" the way that you understand God can come to full completion in looking upon the incarnation, life, death, burial and resurrection of Jesus.  The people who had followed the full law and the schedule of sacrifice are then told that it is really mercy and not sacrifice that God is concerned with.  Jesus tells them their "eye for an eye" version of justice was not sufficient and in fact was broken; that they should love their enemies and pray for those who persecute them.  What Jesus was doing was asking them to see the world in a completely new way.  The people, both Roman and Jewish, were so challenged with this new way of understanding that they needed to eliminate the thing that was asking them to change their mind.  Just as our minds are willing to do mental gymnastics to make new information fit in our old ways of understandings, cultures do the same thing.  Jesus was acting outside of the accepted ways of politics and religion and the quickest way to deal with that tension is to remove the disruptor.  For those of us who know the gospel, we see that that way of trying to do away with the way of Jesus was actually the thing that proved the power of the way of the cross and is the reason that we too take up our cross and follow the way of Jesus.

We see the example of what it looks like when revelation goes against our understanding, in Peter.  Peter has a vision where he learns that the food they once called unclean is in fact clean because God had made it so.  Peter, through the Holy Spirit and some wrestling with it, then is able to take the jump that this "making clean" applies to Gentiles as well.  Peter has to go and see evidence of it in Cornelius and he is then willing to change his prior understanding.  Before he would then defend this stance to others, he first had supernatural revelation in a vision and then confirmation from the Spirit of God and the witnesses who accompanied him.  Maybe Peter was more willing to trust this revelation because he had distrusted a prior message from Jesus before and was rebuked for it.  Jesus was talking to those closest to him and told them of the death that he must experience.  Peter, and probably all of those closest to Jesus, were still waiting for Jesus to take the throne and return the land to Israel and what Jesus was telling him flew in the face of that understanding.  Peter said "God forbid" such a thing taking place and Jesus responded "get behind me Satan".  The information that Peter received was so troubling to his understanding of things that he thought it was more likely that Jesus was wrong than that HE was wrong about the way that Jesus would indeed take a throne.

Knowing With Wonder

The danger when we come to this understanding that we are always one piece of information away from seeing everything in a totally new way is the reflex to just say that we never can know anything or on the other side, that we know everything.  Because of this we see some people who dig their feet in the ground and refuse to learn new information or meet new kinds of people because they are afraid that they may learn something that will change their mind.  We see other people who see everything and change their mind every day and are often tossed side to side by every passing wave.  They are always one wave away from going under.  I think the middle way is what Moltmann calls "knowing with wonder".  It is good to say that we know something but to admit that it is with wonder that we hold that understanding.  It is Moltmann who says that when we say we know something we in a sense are claiming that we own it.  We often even use terminology like "I can grasp that" as if we have it in our hands to be controlled and moved at our will and I would say that is a dangerous business.  To know with wonder means that it may be in our hands today but we are always observing it and not losing heart when it seems to change texture and form within our light grip.  That is knowing with wonder.  We don't have to feel a certain way when we realize we have been looking at a thing from the completely wrong angle.  I think we could have no other response but one of wonder because the thing we are observing is not one sided, it is like a brilliant diamond that glistens and glimmers under different light and from all of its beautiful angles and dimensions.  I think God is big enough that we will never take all of that brilliance in from one vantage point.  I hope we can respond much in the way that my mom responded to her somewhat embarrassing misunderstanding.  We laughed and joked with her for a while but in the long run she was grateful that it created another opportunity to laugh with my cousin.  Gratitude is always better than shame embarrassment and regret.

Pain and Promise

I love my 8 year old son, Everett.  I mean I am constantly amazed at how much love can come from even just watching him sit and read or try to figure out a problem.  He's started playing soccer and I love watching this competitive and physically driven side of him come out in surprising ways.  One thing does drive me crazy about him though. To be fair this isn't just something that drives me crazy about my son, it seems to be something that most kids in America do.  It is a crazy attachment to tablets and video games.  I think if we let him, he would never pick his head up from that tablet.  He plays goofy little video games, watches videos of other people playing video games (that one is really strange to me), searches for funny pictures of Nyan Cat, etc.  We have a rule with the tablet that he gets to use it for 1 hour every day and he can earn extra time by doing chores, reading, and other things we ask of him.  The goal is that he is still participating as a member of our household and not some sort of electronic zombie.  Many mornings Everett is given a choice about his tablet use.  When he uses the tablet before getting in the shower I often ask him if he really wants to use his tablet time in the morning and not have any time in the evening, without earning that extra time, or save some of it for when he gets home from school.  I can see the wheels start turning in his head as he weighs out these two possibilities and has to make a decision.  I think it is moments like these, for my son, that are a training ground for a lifetime of this type of decision making. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are always weighing risk and reward, punishment and obedience, and pain and promise.  There are certain decisions that we make that are more obvious and much less is at stake.  We decide whether or not to go to work and the two sides may just come down to, if I go to work I keep my job and make money and if I stay home (for too many days in a row) I will get fired.  We decide if we should take the back roads to work and possibly avoid the traffic jam. Some decisions have something to say about our health and well being.  We decide if we should start going to the gym more often.  If we go at least three times a week, change our eating habits and get better rest we will lose weight and start feeling better and if we don't, we won't.  The challenge of that decision is that choosing to work out and eat right is hard. It is difficult to get up earlier and to change the way that you shop for food and drink more water, and not watch that late night television show but instead go to bed at a reasonable hour.  What you have decided in your mind, if you are starting to work out, is that the reward is worth that challenge.  You have placed health above comfort.  Don't miss though, that your mind is playing that out over and over again.  every time you wake up early, every time you pass Tim Hortons, every time you step on a treadmill at 5:30 am.

Big Pain, Little Promise

I read a tweet today from a megachurch pastor that said "what do you do when the pain is bigger than the promise".  I think there is a lot going on in that tweet and I would not begin to guess what his intentions in writing it were but I think it speaks to the content of this particular post.  Just like when you start working out or if you are my son and you are trying to decide whether you want to be bored now or bored later, a promise of a future has a direct impact on your decision making now.  If the pain of what you experience now, i.e. muscle fatigue, boredom, or a job that is sucking the life out of you, is greater than whatever the future promise is, i.e. weight loss, future tablet enjoyment, or money to pay your rent, then you can't see that future clearly. You end up putting an end to what you are currently engaged in, no matter the cost.  In terms of a future promise, specifically in the Christian tradition, an unhealthy view of this dynamic can be problematic.  The problem with placing the Kingdom of God into just a future reality called "heaven" is that we leave people to wrestle out if the reward is worth the pain.  Is it all worth it?  Can I endure?  People who wrestle with addiction or persecution are left feeling like, "this better be worth it".  It's almost as if you fold within yourself, protect all sides, mark your territory, batten the hatches, and crawl into your fox hole until the war is over.  This is not the Kingdom that we are invited to.  If this is your mindset, I guarantee that when trouble comes, and it will come, you play this measuring game in your head.  Is this eternal reward worth all of this?  But if your concept of the Kingdom is something that is "already, not yet", "revealed, yet hidden" as Lesslie Newbigin says, you begin participating in a future reality now.

Now & Later

What would this Kingdom life look like in the now?  Well for one thing, I think the pain that we face every day, the kind of pain that makes us question whether the future promise can be that great, would be lessened by the playing out of a future reality.  A people who laugh together, who eat together, but also cry together, get old and die together.  You wouldn't have to ask if it all is worth it because you would be experiencing the healing of a foretaste of that eternal promise.  Your brother and sister, your neighbor, your co-workers and the guy in front of you in traffic, all start to become part of it.  Each person is playing a part as you are being transformed into a true Kingdom citizen who no longer sees everything as risk and reward, pain and punishment, but just part of the struggle that we all get to go through together.  We begin to realize that we can make it through this challenge too because we are not alone.  I think it is part of the reason that it is often suggested that a person quitting smoking, or starting a diet or work out plan, gets one or two people to do it with them. There is strength in numbers.  In the case of the Kingdom of God, I think it is actually the working out of our daily challenges, that God is orchestrating a creation from chaos, a way of being that IS that glimpse into a perfect promise.  There too, there is strength in numbers.

And What of Our Enemies?

Most people can probably come aboard for the concept of this global community of people who suffer together, share with one another and participate towards a future reality.  It sounds good, it's a Utopian fantasy that is fun to dream about.  The real problem comes when we have to look at the words and life of Jesus.  You see Jesus didn't just say to get together with your buddies and talk about how you're starting cancer treatment, or your spouse is thinking of leaving you, or that you lost your job and you think you are too old to start a different career.  Being a global community when the globe is very small and just like you is much easier.  The challenge is that Jesus says to love your enemies and to pray for those that persecute you.  How do they fit in the "now" aspect of a Kingdom reality.  The temptation is to say that they just aren't invited, they aren't a part of it.  Once again, thanks to Jesus, we can't do that either.

There is a lot to think about on this topic so I don't want to seem to be a person that has it figured out.  I admit that I am scared of people that are different than me.  I don't really understand people that have a faith that looks different than mine.  I am disgusted by some of the things I see on television in other parts of the world and the thought of loving those people is overwhelming.  As I was writing this, a phrase came to mind that I think may signal a beginning into transforming of our minds towards that love of enemy.  "I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy".  It is often people in most extreme forms of pain that utter that phrase.  I've heard it from people who have lost their children to addiction or illness.  I've heard it from people who will have to deal with chronic pain for the rest of their lives. I've heard it from people who were wrongfully imprisoned or who live in a war torn battle zone.  For some reason, the people who have experienced the worst kinds of pain imaginable, are the only people who wouldn't wish that pain upon another, even their worst enemy.  This is the power of proximity.  We must be located somewhere near pain.  That can be pain in our own lives or near a people who experience pain in some way.   There is something about coming along side a person who is struggling that transforms both of you.  To see a person, even your enemy, in intense pain causes you to want to participate in their healing.  And when your enemy becomes your friend in some mystical way by sharing this sacred bond, the question of whether or not it is worth it begins to fade away.  It fades away because you aren't waiting for the promise, you are seeing it emerge all around you.  That sound like good news.  That sounds like the Kingdom that Jesus promised.

Advocating Unlawful Customs

Acts 16:16-3416:16 One day, as we were going to the place of prayer, we met a slave girl who had a spirit of divination and brought her owners a great deal of money by fortune-telling.

16:17 While she followed Paul and us, she would cry out, "These men are slaves of the Most High God, who proclaim to you a way of salvation."

16:18 She kept doing this for many days. But Paul, very much annoyed, turned and said to the spirit, "I order you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her." And it came out that very hour.

16:19 But when her owners saw that their hope of making money was gone, they seized Paul and Silas and dragged them into the marketplace before the authorities.

16:20 When they had brought them before the magistrates, they said, "These men are disturbing our city; they are Jews

16:21 and are advocating customs that are not lawful for us as Romans to adopt or observe."

16:22 The crowd joined in attacking them, and the magistrates had them stripped of their clothing and ordered them to be beaten with rods.

16:23 After they had given them a severe flogging, they threw them into prison and ordered the jailer to keep them securely.

16:24 Following these instructions, he put them in the innermost cell and fastened their feet in the stocks.

16:25 About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them.

16:26 Suddenly there was an earthquake, so violent that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone's chains were unfastened.

16:27 When the jailer woke up and saw the prison doors wide open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself, since he supposed that the prisoners had escaped.

16:28 But Paul shouted in a loud voice, "Do not harm yourself, for we are all here."

16:29 The jailer called for lights, and rushing in, he fell down trembling before Paul and Silas.

16:30 Then he brought them outside and said, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?"

This was a section of one of this past week's readings from the Revised Common Lectionary.  I'm always amazed by at least one of the texts each week.  When I open the readings and I see something that I have undoubtedly read so many times before, I always am surprised by some aspect of it.  I was not disappointed with this selection.  It is an amazing story of Paul and Silas going about their day, trying to find a place of prayer and coming across a slave girl who was being used by her owners to bring great wealth to them.  As Paul and Silas walked by, she must have noticed something different about them, probably because of the spirit that had overtaken her, and she saw that they were slaves of the most high God, just as she was a slave to the men who were using her and to the spirit that had overtaken her.  We can call it an act of kindness or a response to irritation but whatever we call it, Paul and Silas had had enough from this spirit and ordered it out of the woman in the name of Jesus.  The spirit came out of the woman that very hour.

The men who owned the girl realized in that moment that their "hope of making money was gone", they weren't too happy, to say the least.  They seized Paul and Silas and dragged them before the authorities in the marketplace.  Their charge was that Paul and Silas were "advocating customs that are not lawful for us as Romans to adopt or observe".  What's amazing about these charges is that when we look back at what they had done leading up to this specific encounter was: going to a place of prayer, meeting with a slave, being called slaves of the most high God, and freeing a woman from her bondage.  I would guess that the last of those actions was the one that actually got them in trouble because it is the one that kept those men from earning the same crooked and broken living they were making before.

As the story continues we see that the courts of the marketplace, the courts of commerce, the very place that would benefit from this slave girl, wasted no time in finding them guilty, beating Paul and Silas and placing them in prison.  Even in this place of bondage, they sang spiritual songs and hymns to God and it says "the prisoners were listening to them".  Even in this place they were setting people free from the bondage that they too had found themselves in.  There was then an earthquake that was so intense that it broke the gates open and the chains free from all of the prisoners but what is amazing is that no one left.  When the guard came to see what had happened he was about to kill himself, until he realized that all of the prisoners had stayed back and not fled their captors.  It was this bold and shocking response to an opportunity for freedom that spared the jailers life and led to him asking "what must I do to be saved?"

There is so much in this rich text that I almost hate to dissect it at all because I think it really speaks for itself.  What I will do is share what has been haunting me about it since early last week.

Unlawful Customs

The first thing is something that I already touched on but I would like to explore a bit further.  The crime that Paul and Silas were guilty of, as they were brought before this marketplace court, was bringing unlawful customs to Rome.  As I said earlier, that crime was freeing a slave.  Let's be clear, they didn't say that girl was no longer a slave, they just gave her a free identity.  She was bound to those men because she could make them money and that is it. I started thinking about this story in light of our current customs and ways of being and doing business in a "New Capitalism" West.  A person could really get themselves in trouble today, even among those who confess to be Christians, by upsetting the ways in which "we" in this country, make money.  We are ok with CEOs keeping large salaries, clothing companies paying people over seas pennies a day, not requiring businesses to hold fair employment practices, letting a cake maker discriminate against whole people groups, because it is free commerce and to be against it would be bringing your "unlawful customs" to a well defined market place.  We might "keep them from making their living".  Paul and Silas saw something rotten in Denmark and freed that woman from a broken system that was making money at the expense of that girls' soul.

This is not a purely political critique because I believe that change doesn't always have to be legislated but it should certainly at least begin with those of us confessing to be slaves of the most high God.  What if we upset the system by refusing to buy goods that were made in unsafe working conditions by a people making slave wages.  What if we refused to bring our business companies where the gap between the CEO's wages and the lowest paid employee is growing at an increasing rate?  What if we "freed" people locked in that system by creating jobs where wealth is shared amongst all of the employees and we made goods that were meant to last instead of used, discarded and then piled on a garbage heap?    It would be a start.

For we are all here

Second and lastly I want to zero in on the response of Paul, Silas and for what we know all of the prisoners.  The guard represented everything about "the system".  He was in with the people that had apprehended Paul and his companion, probably wearing the same uniform as the people that flogged them and threw them into their cell but Paul saw something else.  You see, the guard was a part of the same broken system that had thrown them into jail in the first place.  A system that even though the guard had performed all of his duties to the best of his abilities, he would be at least shamed if not put to death by that system.  Paul saw it and he knew it.  He saw that jailer as one who was also in chains and when he could have fled, he didn't.  He stayed, for the sake of the one who was charged with keeping him.  This is good news!  It is a good news not just for those that we see as the victim in these stories but also for those that we have to look a little closer to see that they too are victims.

This scene ends as the guard asks what he must do to be saved, I'm sure Paul shared some of his testimony and a word from the Lord, the guard is baptized, transformed and a living testimony to his household.  It all started with Paul and his companions just going about their business.  Going to a place of prayer, speaking with one who most people would have ignored and getting in a whole bunch of holy trouble from that point on.  It looks like a story of chaos and strife but the kingdom leapt forward that day.  I bet as they retold that story to all of the people they encountered on the remainder of their journeys, it was without even a hint of regret.  I pray that we can look back on the way that we bring our kingdom customs to this culture and we can say the same.

Just Being

I love spring mornings in our new home.  Once the two oldest children are ready, we head out to the barn, check on the ducks and chicks and then head out to wait for the school bus.  On our way out to wait for the bus the sun shines on our backs and shadows seem to grow from our feet and carry themselves down the drive.  Some days our shadows have a dance party as we dance a jig or do the robot. Our shadow friends perform a slightly stretched version of the same dance.  Other times our shadows fight each other in true shadow boxing style.  Our shadows at times stretch out into the road and cars passing by run over our shadows and leave the drivers confused as to why a group pf panicking pedestrians are raising their hands in grief at our shadow's unfortunate demise.  I have to admit that I am sometimes embarrassed to get too into this game, especially when I see the confused look on passing driver's faces. Yet when I get to just act like a kid again and throw those fears aside, I never feel more like a real version of myself. Who Do You Think You Are?

Identity is pretty important, especially in scripture.  Who do they say I am?  Who are you?  I will give you a new name?  You will be my people?  I AM.  If we look at the narrative of scripture we see a people who are desperately trying to figure out who they are and how who they are defines them.  At the same time, the people of God are looking for who God really is.  Trying to put words to a "being" that is the word itself.  Putting language to something beyond language.  When Moses is sent, his response though much less abrasive, basically is asking God who he is.  Who are you?  Who should I say sent me?  Who do you think you are?  The simplicity of God's answer is that He is.  He is who he says He is.  He is who He has been.  He is who he will be.  I  AM.  There is no untrue or unjust nature to God's very being.  He is fully and authentically true to Himself.

Similarly, when Jesus is standing before Pilate, answering for the life that he lived in such a public display of the character and nature of God.  Pilate asks Jesus what the truth really is.  Jesus' answer is silence.  It is as if Jesus is saying that the one who stands before you in word and flesh, in all of the truthful splendor, is truth itself.  Jesus IS what he does.  His life is the good news of the inbreaking kingdom of God and the silent response to Pilate's question is His testimony.

Who Are You, Really?

I think on any given day that most people are walking around revealing about 60% of who they really are.  Maybe, and that is a big maybe, in a small group or support group that number goes up to 80-90%.  Even in our worship and prayer time when we are communing with the creator who knows our inmost workings and substance, we never crack that 90% mark.  I mean the parts of us where we do good things with sometimes unconscious motives to gain something from our charity.  The parts of us that can't shake that evil thought about our neighbor.  The part of us where we feel we should be acknowledged or thanked more than we have been.  The part of us that is still scarred from being bullied for peeing our pants in elementary school.  The part of us that just wants to scream in public at the top of our lungs to avoid walking to the front of the line and punch the person paying with a check in the grocery store.  The part of us that likes having nice things because people look up to us a little more.  The part of us that becomes too addicted to too many things, far too easily.  We've just managed to turn those things down, to just keep them running in the background while the louder narrative, the one we let other people see is the one that does the right thing.  We like people to hear the story of how we gave our last for that person who was in need.  We like to show the version of us who never swears and loves their wife unconditionally.  The parent who just always has the right thing to say to their kids as they wipe their brow and kiss their boo-boo.

That's not you.  Let's be honest, the best version of you is not you.  We are complex creatures that are constantly fighting being defined by our shortcomings and past hurts and trying to instead be defined by who Jesus is and what he has done and what God will do, in us and in this world and yet the tension is palpable.  The good news is that Jesus has befriended you in all of your broken, bruised, conceited, ignorant grandeur.

Friend of the Friendless

God's answer to Moses of who He is, is what He does. God didn't give Moses a check list of things he would have to be to be His messenger.  God showed Moses who God was.  Jesus' answer to Pilate's question of truth Is the life of Jesus.  Truth as revealed in His silent response spoke more loudly than any words possibly could. The silence was real.  Let me just say, the very real Jesus wants to befriend the very real you.  The parts of you that are plagued with addiction, anxiety, depression, loneliness and fear, are the only parts of you that are truly seeking out transformational friendship.  Jesus sees it and he knows it, so he goes to the tax collector, the seminary dropout, ht one who has wandered, the prostitute, the liar, the thief, the zealot and the bleeding woman.  Those people and that version of you is the only version that is actually seeking out friendship.  The truest version of you is in desperate need of a friend like Jesus and it is the only version of you that Jesus is radically interested in befriending.  That version of you doesn't have all the right answers, the right political party, doesn't always give with the best intentions, or know the right people and live with "favor" and influence.  That version of you who doesn't already have everything they could want or need, is in need of a savior.

God is answering your question of, "who do you think you are?" with a simple and profound "I AM".  Jesus is answering your search for truth and the realest version of humanity with...silence.  Hear His word in the silence.

Love at Last

The final secret, I think, is this: that the words "You shall love the Lord your God" become in the end less a command than a promise.  And the promise is that, yes, on the weary feet of faith and the fragile wings of hope, we will come to love him at last as from the first he has loved us-loved us even in the wilderness, especially in the wilderness, because he has been in the wilderness with us.  He has been in the wilderness for us.  He has been acquainted with our grief.  And, loving him, we will come at last to love each other too so that, in the end, the name taped on every door will be the name of the one we love.  -Frederick Buechner This July, my wife and I will have been married for sixteen years.  We have been a couple for almost nineteen years.  My idea of love during that time has grown and changed more than I could possibly express.  I don't just mean a change from a love that looks more like infatuation though that certainly was part of it.  I just mean that the way that I love and am devoted looks totally different now than it did when we first met.  We met on the campus at Rochester College in Michigan.  I was a bit of a punk and on the soccer team.  She was a bit of a hippie and friends with everyone.  She wrote my name on her Franklin planner and started scheming a way that we may meet from the first.  I noticed her from afar, and then, we finally met.  We talked for hours as we unknowingly did the ceremonial walk, at least three times, around the "lake" on campus.  I remember that evening feeling loved.  I mean the true sense of the word the most overwhelming sense of someone who cared deeply for me, listened to me, talking together of our struggles and frustrations, our hopes and our dreams and I felt...loved.

I think my "conversion" story is something similar to that.  I grew up in the church but I think the moment I truly entered into a true relationship with God was the first moment I felt and experienced the love of God, His willingness to hear my fears, my struggles, my hopes and my dreams.  I don't know what else changed except a moment of feeling, well, worthy of God's love.  It's hard for me to even write that because it is still a struggle that I have.  The fact that God calls me worthy of His love.

Less a Command Than a Promise

The final secret, I think, is this: that the words "You shall love the Lord your God" become in the end less a command than a promise.

When I read these words from Frederick Buechner I had one of those moments where the world stopped and I could finally breathe deeply for the first time in far too long.  I don't do well with commands.  I can feel my back and my neck tensing, my breath becomes shallow and I sense another panic attack coming on.  Maybe it is a fear of failure or perhaps it is from a long track record of "failing" at things I have tried, commands and promises broken, people I have let down.  Or, maybe it's because it feels forced and coercive and nothing like the way that love actually happens.  The vows my wife and I took before God and witnesses at our wedding were not commands, they were promises.  We didn't really know what we were saying, if we can be honest.  No one knows what it means to love a person in sickness and health until death do you part until you experience sickness and darkness together.  The promise that we made to each other was that we would figure that out together.  In the same way, God knows that you're understanding of love when you first come to the foot of the cross will not be sufficient for all of the dark and desperate moments in life but our commitment to wrestle will continue to spring life from dark valley moments that feel like death.

Love in the Wilderness

...even in the wilderness, especially in the wilderness, because he has been in the wilderness with us.  He has been in the wilderness for us.

^{Matthew 27:46}And about three o’clock Jesus cried with a loud voice, ‘Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?’ that is, ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’

God's love for us grew on the cross because in that moment where Jesus cried out, God in the flesh knew what it was like to feel forsaken by God.  Now if you've never felt that kind of darkness to where you feel lost, forsaken, unloved, completely without hope ,then maybe that seems like an odd statement.  But for those of us who have felt a deep despair, like your chest is cracking open and your gut is twisted in torment, the word "forsaken" is all too familiar.  But God has loved us in the wilderness, and as Buechner says, "especially in the wilderness" because Jesus has experienced what God forsakeness feels like.

The promise to us is that there is resurrection on the other side of our feeling forsaken. The valley of the shadow death is a place we are walking through and while we walk through, feeling the weight of the wilderness, we are not alone especially not in the wilderness.

For the Sake of the World

To what end?  It's the question that I ask of all of my understandings and beliefs.  I can't help but ask why and to what end?  I suggest it goes all of the way back to God's first covenant promise with His people.  It is for the sake of the world.  For those who have been welcomed into the loving arms of the creator AND for those who are still far off.  Dare I say, especially for those who are still far off.  Our love of neighbor is a promise not a command.  If we wrestle with and struggle through this thing called love with the creator, we have already begun the work of wrestling with and struggling through what it looks like to love our neighbor.  We love those who are in the wilderness, especially those in the wilderness because we know what it feels like to be in the wilderness, in the valley.  We show others that they are not forsaken, that God is with them because we go to them.  We listen to their struggles, their disappointments, their hopes and their dreams and we reassure them that they are not alone.  It is the love that called us out of the darkness into His glorious light.  It is the love that called us to participate in God's ever expanding story of love "so that, in the end, the name taped on every door will be the name of the one we love."

I Get To Do This

Have you ever had one of those moments, maybe you're sitting in your living room with your spouse watching your kids or finishing a project at work that you have spent a year or more investing hard work and passion, but one of those moments where you are just filled with an overwhelming sense of joy and gratitude?  For me one of those moments was this morning when I was taking my daughter, Judah, to school.  I looked back at her with her pigtails and gleeful smile and said "Judah, you are super cool".  She said "No I'm not, not any more".  I replied "You're not anymore?  Why not, what happened?"  She responded, with a massive smile across her face, "The sun warmed me up!"  I could do nothing but just smile at the innocence of such a beautiful answer.  As I dropped her off, walking into her class while holding her hand, I though to myself, I get to do this. Rob Bell's new book How To Be Here addresses the importance of the mantra, "I get to do this".  It doesn't really matter what it is that you are engaged in as long as you are fully engaged in it.  It requires being fully present in each moment.  That means that nasty email you just read that questioned your effort or commitment, the fight you had with your daughter while getting ready for work or school, the meeting you have at the end of the day that will mean you're going to be late getting home, the long commute or even the much needed date you have planned with your spouse, each of these events are something other than this one thing you get to do in this moment.  What you find is that even the difficult tasks become much easier and the wonderful moments of beauty become even more beautiful.  Sitting in a coffee shop trying to write a blog is no longer something you are trying to do, it is something you get to do.  Getting home and cleaning the disaster of a toy room while listening to your favorite album isn't a chore, it is a gift.

Our lives are filled with these moments that if we don't stop and take the time to appreciate and cherish them, they begin to all fade and blend together.  No specific memory sticks out except for those monumental moments like a marriage, family vacation or the birth of a child. I just think that if those are the only moments we look to to find our joy that our joy will run out very quickly.  The taste and crunch of a carrot, the smell of coffee brewing in the morning, the way that wind sounds as it passes through trees, the way that your daughter can't quite say Patricia (The name of one of our new ducks) and how it comes out like Matricia.  These are the things that fill our souls with joy, if we can live in those moments.  I get to do this.  I get to do this!

Rob, in his book, goes on to talk about the difference between "craft" and "success".  Success tells you how you are doing with words like pass or fail.  Did you achieve your desired outcome or did you not?  If you did not, you failed?  "Craft" is wrapped up in this concept of "I get to do this".  Are you a stay at home mom or dad?  Do you feel like you are failing as a parent?  Maybe you can never keep the house clean or maybe your daughter says she hates you or maybe you blew up and started yelling at your kids for no reason.  All of these things can make us feel like failures.  Maybe you are in the business world and you ares struggling to meet a deadline or maybe you work in the music industry and your latest album didn't receive the desired reception.  Perhaps you're a preacher and the sermons that you put so much into, your heart and soul, fall flat and the sermon you weren't feeling really touches people.  If you are wrapped up in these outcomes and deadlines, wrapped up in this constant loop of "is it enough?", "is it good", "what do they think?", "what will they say", you will find that you will never find joy.  The only question you need to ask is, am I doing all that I can, in this time and space, with the talents and treasures that I have, to be the best version of me that I can?  If the answer is no, I would bet that it has something to do with not being fully present in the thing that you "get to do".  If the answer is yes, then just repeat to yourself over and over again, "I get to do this".

I leave you with a blessing this day.  You have been beautifully and wonderfully made for a time such as this.  All of your hurts and your disappointments, your victories and mountaintop experiences, have shaped you for this present moment.  The people you are surrounded by, right now, are a gift and they play a part.  The "craft" that sits before you is just waiting for you, in all of your beautifully broken splendor, to go to work.  But always remember, "You Get To Do This".  Consider it all joy.

I'm Not Crazy...Institution!

  Matthew 16:18 And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it.

I love this story in Matthew, where Peter confesses Christ the Messiah, the Son of the living God and on Peter, or his confession, the church will be built.  It even says that the gates of Hades will not prevail against it.  What I have always missed or at least haven't given much thought to is the fact that it says that Christ will build his church.  It doesn't say he will give further instruction, it doesn't say to have a strategic meeting or read the latest book on organic church planting, it says "I (The Christ) will build my church".  I want to be clear that I don't think reading literature on church planting and organization is always a bad thing but I don't think we have usually stopped there.  We follow blueprints and models to plant churches.  As a result, we live in a time and place where our churches look much more like institutions and corporations than organic Jesus communities.  The first response to this challenge is often a defensive one.  It's hard to look at structures and ways of life, that we have given ourselves to, could be anything other than good but the way we have ordered our worship and gatherings begs a more honest discernment.

"I will build my church and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it".  I was listening to a podcast this week where the host asked "If Jesus said HE would build his church, how do you think He's doing?".

Stop and really think about the implications of that question before continuing.

No, really.  Stop and think about what that says about the state of the church in the West.

I mean if Jesus said he would be the one who would build it, we are left having to say either Jesus isn't doing a good job (I certainly don't want to be in that camp) or that WE are building our churches in opposition to the way of Jesus.

What are people really rejecting?

I'm not crazy - institution You're the one who's crazy - institution You're driving me crazy - institution They stuck me in an institution Said it was the only solution To give me the needed professional help To protect me from the enemy - myself

If you grew up in the 80's or if you are fan of Punk music, you may be familiar with this punk anthem from the band Suicidal Tendencies.  It's the song behind the title of this post (I was going to name the post "All I wanted was a Pepsi" but I thought that may be too obscure of a reference).  I think it fits well with what people are rejecting in our churches, the institution.  In a recent study done by the University of Northern Colorado, they found that of the 210 million adults in the US, 65 million of them have left the church.  Of that 65 million, 34.5 million have left the church and left the faith.  This group is often identified as the "nones".  The other 30.5 million have left the church but "have kept the faith".  This group has lost faith in the institution of church and are done attending.  They are identified as the "dones".  Even if we just concentrate on this latter of the two groups, we have 30.5 million of only 210 million adults in the US who are disenfranchised with the whole system of religion and the institutions that we have, if we are honest, done a horrible job of building and maintaining.  These people love Jesus, they just hate the politics of church.  Many churches have been ok with people thinking that their particular church was the solution and not Jesus, because it kept people tied to their institution.  Unfortunately it wasn't keeping people tied to the transformative love of God.

When I was younger I had just reached the age where I was encouraged to attend "men's meetings".  These are the meetings where the decisions of the church are discussed and finalized.  Unfortunately much of the business discussed was about carpet, should song books be changed, is having potluck after service sinful, etc?  I want to be clear that I have worked through most of my frustrations with growing up in a fairly conservative church and truly grateful for learning about faith in that place.  I am thankful for teachers who committed to teaching me the bible and trying, the best they could, to teach me about the love of God.  But I had seen behind the curtain.  What I had witnessed was that running an institution sometimes got ugly.  I tell this story because it was more than I could handle at a young age and when I was old enough to decide whether or not I attended church, I decided to stay home.  It wasn't until I went to Rochester College and met some other Christian kids who seemed to struggle with the things I struggled with and were willing to meet in a dorm room to laugh, listen, and pray, that I saw the life of Christ followers could be exciting and fulfilling.  What I had rejected, and what I believe the "nones" and "dones" are really rejecting, is the often dead and empty structural institutions that are passing as Church.

How did we get to this place?

I want to be clear that I love the church.  I love all of the churches and the people in those churches that I have learned from, laughed and cried with, shared meals with and shared in powerful moments of conversion and growth.  The church is good.  But it is Christ's church, and I think we have stolen from him.  We have allowed church growth models to be the thing that grows our churches.  We have relied on sending mailers, having Easter egg hunts, invite a friend Sundays, and carnivals to be ways of proclaiming the gospel.  We have relied on and invested in "churchianity" instead of a true transformative relationship with Christ and his church.  We are building structures, organizations, committees and programs that are able to function outside of the Spirit of God.  If your church organization is able to keep running whether motivated and moved by God or not, then it is in real danger of being against His work in this world.

How do we get out?

I think the first part of the answer to the question of "how do we get out?" is honest reflection.  Are leaders and lay members truly excited about coming to church or does it feel like you just have to go?  Are you finding more life in the breaking of bread that happens when you invite a family over for dinner and sit around the table laughing and sharing life than you do gathered around the Lord's table Sunday morning?  Does the business model of your church look like a business?  Are all of your elders successful business men?  Are there so many meetings, and meetings to schedule other meetings, that the members of your church don't have time to evangelize and disciple the people they meet throughout the week?  Do the poor, disenfranchised or just plain awkward members feel as involved and responsible for the decision making as the well dressed, well spoken members who tithe the most?  What percentage of the money coming in on a Sunday morning goes to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, provide water to the thirsty and restore dignity to forgotten people, and what percentage goes toward salaries and building maintenance? This has to be step one of returning the reigns of church to Jesus, honest reflection?

A word of warning, this exploration and maybe the changes that you make as a result of your findings, may make people leave your church.  I get it, we like shiny things that run like well oiled machines but those shiny things are often nothing more than a distraction.  What you will be left with is like what is described in 1 Timothy 6

18 They are to do good, to be rich in good works, generous, and ready to share, 19 thus storing up for themselves the treasure of a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of the life that really is life.

Take hold of life that really is life.  The loss of a church as we have known it in a Western mindset will feel like loss but it will be a loss of false life to take hold of a life that Jesus intended for His church.

I'm FOR Em'!

"I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it. How'd it start anyway? I like my sandwiches with three pieces of bread. So do I! Well let's form a club then. Alright, but we need more stipulations. Yes we do; instead of cutting the sandwich once, let's cut it again. Yes, four triangles, and we will position them into a circle. In the middle we will dump chips. Or potato salad. Okay. I got a question for ya, how do you feel about frilly toothpicks? I'm for 'em! Well this club is formed; spread the word on menus nationwide. I like my sandwiches with alfalfa sprouts. Well then you're not in the club!" -Mitch Hedberg

This is, I think, one of my favorite jokes of all time.  You almost have to see Mitch telling the joke to get the full ridiculousness of it. (Language in the original telling is a little salty. I just wanted to make that warning before you watch it in front of little ones.)  I was listening to Richard Rohr give an interview this morning and I instantly thought of this joke.  Richard Rohr talks about these 7 traits of new orthodoxy.  One of the traits is Ecumenism.  Ecumenism is any effort aimed at the unity of Christians throughout the world. Most often, it specifically means the visible unity of Christian churches in some form.  What Richard Rohr says that Christ signaled for the church was that the unity of the church was partly reliant on buying into the reality of Christ being the final and sufficient scapegoat.  The way that communities unite around the expulsion of a scapegoat will not and cannot exist within the Christian community, or by the Christian community towards the world.  We must unite around what we ARE and not what we are not.  I think this is why the Mitch Helberg joke works so well.  Humor in general does a fantastic job of exposing the ugly truth of the way we often see the world, and we are left laughing to keep from crying. He is talking about the formation of a club and the ridiculous particularities of the club.  We like frilly toothpicks and four triangles surrounding chips but the punch line shines a light on the broken way we think.  As soon as we have decided what we are "for" we begin the work of what we are against.

What we are "for" is enough

I would argue that our churches are formed and then divided much more often by what we are against than what we are for.  There are somewhere north of 30,000 Christian denominations worldwide.  That's 30,000 different distinctions of people saying that I am so against what you are for that I can't worship with you.  We recently were driving through Grand Rapids and my son said "man, there are so many churches here.  There's like a church on every block."  And, he's right.  The Christian parallel of the Mitch Helberg joke might be: I believe that the greatest command is love.  First the love of God and then secondly, like the first, the love of neighbor.  I like to take communion or eucharist.  I believe we are called to serve the least of these.  I believe that this love of God and of neighbor is for the sake of this world.  Me too!  Well this church is formed, alert people world wide.  "I like to play guitar while I worship".  Well you're not in the club then!

I think it sounds insane but that is literally how divisions happen.  We will decide on everything and I mean everything but one little thing and somehow that isn't enough.

The power of scapegoating

The reality and the thing that leaders became aware of is that there is a power in naming and blaming.  We see it in the media every day on both sides of the political debate.  It is no longer enough to say what you stand for.  Now, you strengthen your followers commitment to "the cause" by stating how your position differs from the "other".  Violence, death, poverty, struggle, theft and despair have been given a face by naming a scapegoat.  Our fears are placed on the helpless face of a refugee.  Our failing middle class is either blamed on the people asking for a fair living wage or from the 1%.  What we are seeing unfold in front of our eyes is that the louder you speak and the more you employ a reckless abandon when it comes to your hate speech, the more energized your followers become.  But this is how hate groups get new members.  This is how unfair incarcerations rates start.  This is how wars pop up all over this world.  This is also, unfortunately, how there are more than 30,000 denominations in existence.  Richard Rohr, who is himself a Franciscan priest, points to the decline in the Catholic church that started to appear in the 1960's as evidence of the power of scapegoating.  It is no coincidence that the second Vatican council, or Vatican II took place in 1959.  Pre Vatican II it was the belief of the leadership of the Catholic church that Protestants were lesser Christians, if Christians at all.  They were at least something to be pitied, expelled from among the "real" believers.  There was a strength in that for the Catholic church.  They were the elite and people like to be a part of the elite.  As soon as the leadership of the Catholic church agreed, at Vatican II, that Protestants were brother and sister in Christ, the numbers started to decline.  It seems that Protestants have taken up the same method of scapegoating to strengthen and increase their numbers.

What are we really for?

I suggest making a list of the beliefs and passions that the love of God has you inextricably tied to.  Try thinking of the other as you make this list.  I pray that list is very very short.  I also pray that it includes general ideas like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self control and not so many particulars like, order of service, worship style and how to take communion.  What I hope we will find is that the way we are bound by what we have in common, is enough.  Let's stop dividing over things like alfalfa sprouts on club sandwiches.

It's a Red Horn!

As a child, I loved going up north with my family.  Michigan is one of those states where you can stay within the state, drive a few hours, and feel like you are vacationing in some exotic locale.  Sometimes we would go south of the bridge to Sleeping Bear Dunes or Traverse City and other times we would cross the bridge to the U.P. and see the Tiquanimum Falls or vacation on McDonald Lake.  This was before kids had to have their vacations filled with theme parks and video games.  We spent the majority of our travels seeing wildlife preserves and natural wonders and I don't remember ever getting bored.  One of the best parts of our trips was the time spent in the car, which is probably why to this day I love road trips so much.  When I was probably 5 or so, the youngest in my family by at least 4 years,  we were on one of those summer trips and I was beginning to become overwhelmed by my family.  There were several reasons that a young boy with two older sisters could become overwhelmed on a long car trip but this day it was less what everyone else was doing than what I was unable to do.  You see, my whole family had eagle eyes when it came to spotting animals from the car and I, well, I was 5.  "Oh look, it's a herd of deer!" exclaimed my oldest sister.  "Yes it is.  Good eye." said my mother.  "I didn't see anything" I whined from the middle of the backseat of our two-toned Ford Fairmont.  "That's ok", my mom would say, comfortingly, "you'll see the next ones".  The truth is, I never did.  My other sister would spot a hawk and my mom would catch a family of raccoons crossing the road and I could never move quick enough to see any of it.  Even my dad, who was driving, seemed to be able to see all of the animals that I was missing and simultaneously keep the car on the road.  It could be that I, at 5 years old, was below the car window height that would allow me to spot the animal kingdom surrounding us, in all of its glory.  Finally, I had enough of feeling like I was missing out on the wonder of it all so I looked out the window and exclaimed, "I see a red horn !".  There were several moments of silence before my mom was brave enough to ask, "What did you see?".  "A red horn", I responded, this time with much less confidence.  What seems like an eternity passed before the whole car erupted in laughter.  the whole car, that is, except for the 5 year old wedged between his two sisters, in the place of least honor in the world of road trips.  I went on to answer questions about the red horn, this mythical creature I had created in my mind.  I know it was brownish with some sort of red horn, about the size of a deer and was a master at hiding.  I had just managed to spot it myself, even though I had missed every other animal on the trip.  I had answered enough questions and had built up enough defensiveness about the matter that I started to be able to picture what it may look like.  I started to believe my own lie and was a witness to it. Red Horns and Witness

Acts 5:29 But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than any human authority 30 The God of our ancestors raised up Jesus, whom you had killed by hanging him on a tree. 31 God exalted him at his right hand as Leader and Savior that he might give repentance to Israel and forgiveness of sins. 32 And we are witnesses to these things, and so is the Holy Spirit whom God has given to those who obey him.”

This is part of one of the texts from the Revised Common Lectionary this week.  I have been thinking a lot about the implications of these words from Peter and the apostles and the story of the red horn popped in my head.  "And we are witnesses to these things", Peter speaks quite a bit about witness in these first chapters of Acts.  Whether the people had actually seen the events of Jesus' ministry and or the crucifixion, for some reason Peter says that they were all witnesses to these things.  It is clear by their resolve and the willingness to take this message to strange and dangerous places, that the witness is strong.  It led people to sell all that they had and give to the poor or other communities to share all that they had with one another.  Some went to violent lands with foreign gods and strong opposition.  They were ship wrecked, beaten and left for dead, dragged before Roman leadership, and killed but their witness did not end.  In fact, it strengthened and more and more people began to share this message and meet in secret places to avoid being killed .  They shared meals, sang spiritual songs, the widows and orphans were cared for and no person was left in need.  They had witnessed a way of power that looked like dying to self and so they all died in that way.  So, more and more people were proclaiming, "I see Jesus!" and they did.

You may be asking what all of this has to do with the red horn. Well,  I suggest that our churches are full of young people, spiritually, sitting in the middle of the backseat straining to see all of the things that the other members claim they see but they are missing all of it.  What could they do?  Well they could be honest and just say, "I don't see it.", but we all unfortunately know how well that kind of honesty is received in our churches.  In fact, I would venture to guess that there are several people who have been relying on another person's witness for decades because they are too afraid to admit that they hadn't really witnessed what they are preaching they had.  We are left with generations of people looking out the wrong side of the car for the elusive red horn and we are missing the majestic deer out the other window.

How Do We Become a Better Witness?

1.Be honest.  I'm going to say that this is probably the thing that is plaguing our churches more than any other factor.  We are so afraid to admit our weakness that strength has become nothing more than a disguise.  When we have moneys of doubt we tend to demonize others who doubt instead of asking for the prayers of the church.  The truth is that we all wrestle with this gospel message because it goes against everything within us and around us in this world.  Wrestle with it, let others see you wrestle with it.  It will let new believers know that this is a faith to be worked out.

2.You can't say you see and follow Jesus AND follow the empire at the same time.  When we tell people that we have encountered Jesus but then act exactly like the empire then we bear false witness.  The world is full of people who are in love with the person of Jesus but can't stand Christians.  I'd say that's a problem.  Are we witnessing to the reign of Caesar or of Jesus?  One is status quo and the other is transformational.  If you are wondering why the people around you aren't being transformed it may be that they are confused by your witness.  (This isn't always the case but is a good signal for self reflection)

3.Slow Down.  Unfortunately our churches are trying to get people from A to Z in a two week "new believer" class.  Celebrate moves from A to B and from J to K, all while tending to your transformation from maybe P to Q.  Our family car was moving 55 to 75 mph and for a 5 year old's eyes that was too fast to catch particulars of scenery.  In the same way, dive into in-depth studies of the gospels and the prophets that will give people the time to bring up questions and doubts, don't take the fact that you speak "christianese" to mean that everyone does.

4.Give them the window seat.  New believers, addicts, people who have been hurt and shamed by other churches, often take the seat in the back or off to the side.  We often put up hurdles that prevent people from catching these divine moments of God's movement among us.  Maybe we are afraid that if we give up the window seat, we will miss it too.  I would say that unless you give up the seat of honor, you are guaranteed to miss it.

It's Like: Childlike Thoughts (Part 1)

One of the main pulls that led me to start blogging again was the way that my kids always seem to have the most profound thoughts on God that drive me to consider His nature.  The first part of the name of my blog really comes from the fact that my son Everett is always sharing his thoughts on our nightly devotion or the reading of a bible verse with the phrase "it's like".  Our devotional conversations as a family are full of saying "it's like this" and "right, and it's also like that", "what if it was like this too?".  That is an exciting picture of biblical, doxological, and theological thought.  What are we talking about when we talk about God?  How are we seeing Him at work in the world all around us?  What surprised us this week?  Semi-regularly I hope to share some of my children's thoughts from our discussions, both the strange and profound.  I hope you find these "childlike thoughts" as encouraging as I do. Everett's thoughts:

In one devotional we were looking through, the book said that the ways we see God all around us are great but the revelation of Jesus was perfect.  While I agree with this idea in theory or at least what the book was getting at, but I didn't want this to down play the revelation of God seen all around us every day.  The way that we see Jesus in a neighbor, a friend, or a man on the street.  I asked the kids what evidence for God and his radical love do we see all around us.  Everett just spouted off this beautiful poetic speech.

God is the light in the darkness,

the island in the flood,

the yellow leaf in the group of red.

Everett is only 8 years old by the way.  The first two lines may have come from scripture or a praise song and had obviously taken up residence in his heart and I was encouraged to hear it.  The idea of God being a yellow leaf in a group of red really got my mind working.  A yellow leaf is still a leaf, in the same image as the red leaves yet different.  so that we are created in the image of God, somehow God has given our creative drive, a desire for community and a desire to love and be loved but we are the same time wholly other than God.  Also, it made me think of how the yellow leaf took up residence among the red leaves.  The incarnation of the yellow leaf.  Crazy profound and beautiful!

Alivia's thoughts:

Now, Alivia answered the same question, explaining how she sees God all around her.

The sun is the candle of God.

Trees are like Jesus, when they dance.

Livy has a beautiful way with words.  First, Livy seeing the sun as this gift from God holds special significance for me as her father.  Alivia is more afraid of the dark than any of our other kids.  She had a period of time where she would have terrifying nightmares every night and because of this, hated when the sun would go down because it meant she was going to have to go to sleep soon.  She would come into our room, very early, hoping that it was time to get up.  Whether she could put it into these words or not, for Livy, the rising of the sun every morning was God chasing away the nightmares and giving new hope for a new day.  The sun is the candle of God.

Her second theological statement is equally powerful.  I think she could have said, "when trees blow in the wind, they look like they are dancing and when the move like that it makes me think of the way Jesus was so full of love and joy he must have danced.  She didn't say that.  She said trees dance.  That creation rises and sings and dances. Not like it is as if they dance but they dance, just like she dances when she is moved by some force inside of her.  And she said Jesus dances like that.  The son of God, God with us, is moved like we are moved.  Sometimes even to dance.

Judah's thoughts

Our younger daughter Judah is filled with more wonder and joy than anyone I have ever met so I am excited to hear in what ways she will dream of God acting all around her.  For now, the answers Judah gives are often more comical than insightful but equally enjoyable.

But God.

That was the title of one of our devotionals that talked about the frequency of that phrase in scripture, encouraging us that when things seem dark and overwhelming God shows Himself in powerful ways.  I opened the book and read the title, "but God".  Judah's immediate response was to squeal "EEEWWWWW!".  I guess it is a lesson that language can take different shapes, depending on the hearer.  "But God" means something totally different to a 4 year old.

Never stop asking questions and dreaming about what God may be up to in this world.  You may get an answer that changes the way that you see things or you may just get a good laugh.  Either way, I think you win.

To What End

I wish I could give credit where it is due, but I often have things swimming around in my head that I am unclear where they originate.  I recently heard someone answer the question of God's existence.  They said that such a question was boring and that a better question would be, what would be the reaction of people who believed in and worshipped a God of love?  So instead of the answer leaning to apologetics, theological debate or a long list of other ways to debate the issue, what if we looked to ourselves (if we are believers).  Pose the question, what would my life look like if I believed in this God?  I've been asking myself this question lately and I have to say that I am not totally pleased with my answer.  To be honest, my life doesn't usually look like someone who believes in God.  So I dig a bit deeper.  Why do I ask myself this question?  Is it the same reason that people ask the God question in the first place, because they are wrestling with uncertainty and doubt.  Is it because we are looking for affirmation in our lives that we really are good people at the base of it?  Is it because we know that the answer to the question and we just needed someone to put it to us in that way?  Whatever my initial motivation for going down this road was, I see that a partner question to the question of God's existence should be, to what end.  The end, for me, of this question is awareness.  If I believe in God but don't care about people then what does whether I believe in God matter?  If I confess Christ as my Lord and Savior but don't even look at the homeless man on the street as I step over him to enter my place of worship then what does it matter?  I'm a believer but to what end? I applied this train of thought to many practices in the church and I think, to what end?, is an important question to ask in all of our practices.

Why do we study scripture, to what end?

If the answer to that question is to have ammunition that can down our most fierce competition in a debate then I think we have it wrong.

Why do we ask questions, to what end?

If we are asking questions, with our desired answers in mind, then we aren't really asking questions we are looking for our answers.  The tricky thing with that is that you can, if you are really looking, find a lot of harmful answers.  I have heard of a congregation who was getting ready to study women's roles in the church.  They were going to do a lengthy study of scripture that would hopefully lead them to the "right" answer.  I believe it was an elder of the church who asked "if we do this study and come to the conclusion that women should have equal roles in the church, will we change our position?".  He was asking the question, to what end?  Sadly, they decided to just not do the study.  Maybe they weren't ready for the answer.

Why do we go to church, why did I start that non-profit, why am I thinking of moving, why am I staying, why am I giving in the offering, why do I have this job, why do I prefer hymns, why do I like instrumental worship?  The list goes on and on.  We make decisions on a daily basis that have an impact on our lives and the lives of those around us and I would be willing to bet that most of us have never considered why, to what end?

The love of God is so transformative and beautiful that if we are fully embracing and operating in it, the world should be a better place because of it.  The end should be that life is springing from dead relationships and dead ends.  The parts of you that used to seek favor and gain are now humble and serving.  The parts of this world where death and destruction is a daily reality should not be full of people thumping bibles but instead pounding hammers, building schools and wells carrying life giving water.

To what end?  I say this world should be better because of the reckless love of God and the people who say they believe in Him.  That is the type of answer to the question of God's existence that may make a difference.

The Problem With Big Ideas

The problem with big ideas is that they are held afloat by the often coercive and careless care of a single human.  This same human, assuming he is indeed human, has only two eyes.  Behind those two eyes he has but one brain.  That single brain is fed by one set of lungs breathing in air from a particular place.  The concern of this one human is to keep hold of this one idea and to keep others interested and occupied by their "big idea".  Others will invest their time in labor to keeping this one idea rolling.  By no fault of their own, these employees of the "big idea" may neglect their families and communities, they are only trying to serve something larger than themselves.  If this "big idea" is successful, people will pat these laborers on the back for selflessly serving something larger than themselves and making such a lasting impact on the world.  If this "big idea" fails they may retreat to their family and community for a time until the next "big idea" comes along.  Somehow the reality of whether or not anyone is really making a difference is lost in the tension between success and failure. Success frequently becomes just being allowed to keep doing the work behind your "big idea" even if it has no positive impact. What is called failure may just be your "big idea" being put out of it's misery. Wendell Berry often speaks of the importance of humble and small beginnings and speaks out against the concept of "big ideas".  Much of my thoughts on this matter are greatly impacted by his.  The real danger with getting behind big ideas is that it takes away our responsibility for real involvement.  I think our churches are guilty of trading in real, individual involvement for laboring behind a "big idea".  Too often our church members are so exhausted from the support of a Pastor and his big idea that they don't have the time and energy to engage their community in any sort of effective way.  The vision behind this "big idea" that everyone is scrambling to support or keep afloat, quite often comes from a very narrow place.  What is seen as a big idea is not nearly large enough.  There is nothing larger than fully realizing the way that our day to day lives can impact our community.  The way that we get groceries and gas, the way that we pick-up and drop-off our children, how and what we eat, the way we treat waste and surplus, all of these things have the potential to change the lives of the people and places we are surrounded by and they are often the things that are neglected by our support of a single "big idea".

So what is our way forward?  I realize that there can be ideas that are worth the support and service of a congregation or community but how do we avoid the pitfalls and potential damage from our "big ideas"?  I'm still reflecting on that question but I would like to share a few conclusions that I have come to in my reflection.  First, if a "big idea" is hatched out of the mind of an individual with little to no input from the community that it intends to serve, it should die before it inflicts inevitable unintended damage.  Second, "big ideas" can exist in a healthy way but only if they are made up of the small, humble and simple ideas of co-laborers and the communities that the idea intends to serve.  Third, the person holding the position of servant leader of a "big idea" must have an ear for correction.  The danger of holding on to an idea much larger than yourself without the wise council of some people who care for you and the community, is too great.  Many good people have fallen because they got too big for their britches.  The moment you feel your spirit "rise up" when someone dares to question your path and your motives may be the moment you need to take a step back for a time.  Lastly, always keep in mind that your "big idea" is never anything more than a collection of small actions and decisions.  From the moment that you first dream this "big idea" and share it with a friend, to when you finally make choices and changes that serve something greater than you, realize your idea is nothing without small choice and change.  Never lose the pulse of the community, the vision that got you started, or an ear for correction.  Something big truly can survive and live well but only if starts and stays small.

It's like...

  It's Like...

My oldest son, who is eight, always begins his retelling of a bible story or his reaction to a devotional  with the words, "it's like".  It may seem like a simple thing that has little meaning to you but to me it is everything.  He takes these profound verses and devotionals and puts them into his own words.  Images take shape in his mind which are transformed into spoken word and he dares to speak of God.  His retelling may reference, aliens, Minecraft, zombies or a friend at school but it always points back to the scripture or topic we are discussing.

This is how we end every day in my home.  Gathered in the room that my daughters share, we read scripture together, pray and sing to God.  Without being overly critical of the church in the west, it seems that this is what is lacking in our gatherings.  The gospel is only a concept unless it collides with our lives, our understandings, or our favorite video games.  The collisions can be moments of hope where we see that the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ has been made to shine out of a dark place.  The collision may be a prophetic vision calling us to repent.  Sometimes "it's like" we are the woman at the well in the noonday sun and sometimes we are the people she is trying to avoid by drawing her water in the heat of the day.  Sometimes we are the well that is cracked and leaking or too deep for the thirsty to draw from or maybe we are the bucket that will help bring water from the deep well to cracked lips.

If we gathered together, to read and share in this way, I believe we would find we are drawn into scripture in real and exciting ways.  Perhaps more importantly, we would find that in hearing each others stories, the moments where we say "it's like" this moment in my life or my day, we are drawn to each other.

and that.

The biggest challenge in this type of sharing, listening and reading, is the plurality of voices.  In our study we have put the work of reading and interpretation into the hands of a few paid professionals.  These pastors, elders and teachers have sifted through the text, the lexicon, the commentaries, and the truth has supposedly risen to the top.  This one thing that the text is saying is shared and people take notes next to that scripture in their bibles.  The next time they study on their own they don't hear the voice of the Spirit, they hear the voice of their paid professional.  When you hear from everyone, the paid professionals and the first time visitor, you are forced to say "yes it is this but maybe it is also that".  That, is a challenge.  Everything inside of me is grasping for some sort of concrete certainty but I'm finding the list of things that are concretely certain is growing shorter and shorter.

I hope this blog helps some of you begin that work in your congregations or maybe just in your home.  Dropping, if even for a moment, the way that you have understood or are understanding God and His word to be able to truly hear someone "other" than you.  I'll bring to this blog, some of the things that I am seeing and hearing in text and life around me and look for signs of God in the middle of it.  Let's do this work together.

Grace and Peace!